How do you get a stoner out of a tree?

Wave to them!

Why did the stoner go to the airport?

He heard they had high security!

What do you call a stoner that just broke up?

Single-baked!

Why was the stoner a great gardener?

He had a green thumb!

Why did the stoner take a ladder to the bar?

Because he heard the drinks were on the house!

How do you know a stoner has been using your computer?

There’s Visine all over the screen!

What do you call a stoner with two spliffs?

Double-jointed!

Why did the stoner refuse to play cards?

He was afraid of getting a bad high card!

Why was the weed always happy?

Because it was always high!

How do you confuse a stoner?

Hide the lighter!