What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad!

Why was the weed always invited to parties?

Because it was a real ‘high’-light!

Why can’t bicycles stand up by themselves?

Because they’re two-tired!

Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?

He was outstanding in his field!

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!

What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts!

How do you get a stoner to go to work?

Hide their weed!

Why did the stoner take a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school!

What did the stoner say to the pizza?

Weed like one pizza, please!