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Why did the stoner refuse to use elevators?

He was afraid of getting lifted!

Why was the stoner a great fisherman?

He always had a good catch!

Why did the stoner take a rake to bed?

He wanted to have a high leaf count!

Why did the stoner sit on the TV?

He wanted to get high on screen!

How do you know when a stoner’s been working out?

They’re always lifting!

Why did the stoner sit on the clock?

He wanted to be high all the time!

Why did the stoner become a gardener?

He loved growing pot!

How do you confuse a stoner?

Hide the lighter!

What did the stoner say to the pizza?

Weed like one pizza, please!

How do you get a stoner to go to work?

Hide their weed!